no details allowed. just this two words and i'm completely bares, no solid ground to hold my feet on, no reason to live and no nothing at all... i determined from today on no more confront comes forward but to keep it on my own and shall not to spit out.
it sounds unfair at all but this is the best decision to make. i'm hurt, i'm lonely and definitely speechless. i lost my function to be the right hand anyway. i lost the higher place in his heart and i become common or maybe totally nobody to him. i try to push this away... trust me but the more i do the further i drowned.
i do look closely in the mirror and i'm in incomplete form of human (i guess). since then i know i shouldn't expect that i can make someone else life's complete by my presence or my existence! everything seems so far for me to achieve and i lost my self esteem. what i mean is... i have none and TOTAL ZERO. i know for sure now that there's no such things like simplicity in life cos all is blur and complicated.
i know no matter i said and do try my best i'm still in a losing side of this battle. i would never make it. it's not a waste anyway, cos at least i have the chance to see it clear thou it took me more than 10 months to get the whole message. and finally the truth has been spoken and as the outrageous result i have nothing again.
i pray hard now that i will get the strenght to starts from scrap. i won't says its the beginning but not the ends. my story line is just a whisper from a flies that nobody cares of and shouldn't wrote in any wall or journals. my story is just for me, for my broken heart and i know it would never told to anyone.
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